


A Hero’s End

by sproutingsons



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Achilles is dramatic but he deserves to be, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No happy endings, This is sad all the way through, Trojan War, War Fic, achilles-centric, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 16:31:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17145215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sproutingsons/pseuds/sproutingsons
Summary: There is no softness left inside of him.All of the parts love had smoothed, rubbed over with sandpaper to make him worthy of love, have been wrapped in barbs.Now that Patroclus is gone, Achilles has hardened.





	A Hero’s End

There is no softness left inside of him. 

All of the parts love had smoothed, rubbed over with sandpaper to make him worthy of love, have been wrapped in barbs. 

Now that Patroclus is gone, Achilles has hardened. 

He doesn’t put his armor on- nobody can do it right, nobody but Patroclus. Nobody dares question his decisions- who are they to challenge a God? A God on Earth, brought down to burn everything he touched. He is naive, was naive, but no longer. He steps out onto the battlefield with nothing but a sword in hand, and he feels made of stone. 

He mows through squadrons of men, not caring if his feet squelch in his sandals from the blood. He could win this war alone, but for what? For what does the sun rise now that all of the light is gone from the earth? For a woman? A princess? She is nothing, a speck of dust, a dying star in a universe only built for the two of them- for Achilles and Patroclus, Patroclus and Achilles. His chest aches at the name, at the thought of being remembered alone. He lays awake all night and feels every ounce of blood in his body and how heavy it all is. For the first time in his life he knows true exhaustion. 

He steps onto the battlefield time and time again and his leaden body overtakes his brain, shutting it off as he advances ever forward, terrified of looking back. Who is he killing? Brothers, husbands, lovers- no one of importance. No one matters, not even him. The one right thing in this world has been slain, and the rest of the world has ceased to exist in any meaningful way. He collapses in his tent from the strain and yet he still cannot sleep, forced to simply lay motionless for a time and try not to hear the phantom snores that flood his consciousness and ring in time with his barely there heartbeat. 

When Achilles dies, his first emotion is relief. It is the first thing he has felt in… how long, again? No matter, it is of no consequence now. He will see his love once more, hold him in his arms, allow himself to be polished and smoothed over once more, allow him to dress his wounds and kiss each pad of his murderous fingertips. He will sweep him into his arms as Achilles screams, beating on his chest in anger, in passion, in grief, in joy at their reunification. He is dead, and in that moment he has never been happier

When he steps into the Elysium fields, his heart constricts. There is nothing, no one. He stumbles to the ground, tears crowding his vision for the first time since he was but a boy. He is alone- alone for the first time in his life, save for the spectres of those he cut down in his haze of reddened mourning. All alone, save for the stalks of golden wheat and ceaseless cool sunlight. In that moment of solitude, he understands the choice he should have made- imagines Patroclus and him curled up by the hearth together, safe, and growing old together. Feeding each other figs and licking the excess juice off one another’s fingers. 

It is a hero’s end, to stew in regret and longing for eternity.

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings! I haven’t posted a fic in... 2+ years, and I originally wrote this fic about a year ago and then... forgot about it. Oops! Well, Merry Christmas, I suppose. Anyway, I hope you all like it- I don’t have a beta-reader so if there are any mistakes please do let me know. You can also let me know how much you loved and/or hated reading this through kudos or comments- If you don’t want to, thats fine! I appreciate you taking the time to read this. 
> 
> Well, see you in another two years.


End file.
